Congratulations! You’ve made the leap and moved to another country. You’ve covered all the logistics–apartment, insurance, bank account, tax identification number–and oriented yourself to your new surroundings. But now that you’ve settled in, a new, more cringe-worthy challenge, awaits–making friends. So how do you make friends abroad?
Now, depending on your age and how often you’ve moved, striking up conversations with strangers in a strange land may not be a big deal. But if you’ve had the same friends your whole adult life, collecting new chums can be tough.
When I decided to move to Sydney, Australia, in January without knowing a soul, I did a few things to make the process easier for myself both before and after I arrived.
Hook Up With Friends of Friends
Before you leave on your trip or move, ask everyone you know for contacts of people or relatives dwelling in your destination city. Or better yet, have them CC you on an introductory e-mail. It may seem awkward, almost like you’re a charity case, but it’s worth a try.
Cases in point: A friend back home knew someone living in Sydney and gave me his contact info while I was still in the States. We started e-mailing, and after I arrived and settled in, we met up. We hit it off and started hanging out on a regular basis. It helped, too, that he was from the Philadelphia area, where I’d lived for nine years. We could commiserate not just on being American expats, but on having lived in the same city.
Target Twitter or Facebook
There’s a huge expat/travel community on Twitter. If you start following people in your future country or city, you can build online friendships that you can test out in real life once you’re there. You might also glean early insights into what to expect in your new home.
Before I left, a friend introduced me via Twitter to another young woman from New Jersey arriving in Sydney the same week as me. We began following each other online and met up our first week down under. We now joke about being each other’s first friends in Australia. I also met up with another Twitter pal on a recent trip to Melbourne.
Make the Most of Meetups
Some people shy away from sites like Meetup.com because they feel like an inorganic way to meet people. But consider other groups besides the “expat” or “new in town” ones. If you have a hobby, such as cooking, reading or jogging, joining those groups could help you find friends who both share your interests and will join you for a drink on Saturday nights. It is a great way to make friends abroad that have the same interests as you and not just as expats or newbies.
I’ve yet to attend an actual expat meet-up here in Sydney, but I did go on a hike with another group a few weeks in. I met other newcomers from North America and Europe, and we exchanged numbers and met up socially a few weeks later.
Ham it Up at Hostels
The benefit of hostels is that everyone is thrust into the same situation. If you’re friendly, people will often invite you out because they’re also travelling solo. So while your first instinct may be to seclude yourself in your dorm, force yourself to chat with other guests in the common areas.
When I first arrived in Sydney, I spent a week at a hostel in Bondi Beach. I felt overwhelmed and jetlagged, but I talked with my roommates and made it a point to meet others at mealtimes. Now I have pals I can reconnect with when they pop back into Sydney. Hostels are also sometimes a good place to return to even after you’ve settled, as the more popular, centralized ones can have a big social atmosphere.
Combine Work and Play
If you worked somewhere at home that has a branch or even some clients where you’re headed, ask to be introduced. You could get friends and additional work opportunities.
I work from home as a full-time freelance writer, so I don’t have the social benefit of an office. Before I left for Oz though, a North American client connected me with the editor of the Australian version of its website. We eventually met for drinks and stayed in touch, and I got the bonus of a writing assignment.
So making friends abroad doesn’t have to be painful. With some in-person and online networking and friendliness toward fellow travelers, you’ll be Miss or Mr. Popularity in no time.
Do you have any other tips on how to make friends abroad?
Thinking About Moving Abroad? Read More About Expat Life Here.
Lauren Fritsky is a journalist and blogger from New Jersey currently spending a year in Sydney, Australia, on a work/holiday visa. Her work has appeared on major Web sites including AOL and CNN and in magazines such as Weight Watchers. Read about her time abroad at www.thelifethatbroke.com.
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Hi Laura, read your post about how to make friends abroad with interest. I recently stumbled upon a webby (www.culturetraders.com) that enabled me to get free personal guides anywhere in the world and make new international friends at the same time!
The concept is really quite simple – All i had to do was to organize tours in the country i am in and show travelers the local perspective of things in exchange for free personal tours anywhere in the world!
I personally find it a great way to meet new friends from around the world and hope that works for you too. 🙂
Hellow
would luv to speak to people especially from orlando florida
Hey, great suggestions! Making friends is by far the hardest part of moving abroad (or anywhere new for that matter…) but fortunately meeting people online doesn’t really have the same stigma it did a decade ago.
I also found in some cities Couchsurfing.org can be good for making friends too, and chances are, you’ll be hooking up with some fellow wanderlust infected travelers as well.
Couchsurfing is great! something I could take better advantage of.
Hi!
Really good tips!! Thanks for that. Would try to find more friends now:)
Great article. Thanks.
I have blogged yesterday about “how to make new friends on the road” from a backpacker’s view.
Check it out here: hostelvideoguide.com
Happy travelling 😀
.-= Thomas´s last blog ..How To Make New Friends On The Road =-.
Those girls in that photo are so hott! haha jk-nice post. Love Twitter for uniting me with Lauren.
Definitely some pretty ladies 🙂
Great advice all around!
.-= Gray´s last blog ..So This is Mofongo =-.
What great tips! One thing that my mom told me when I was backpacking by myself–buy into the friendly Californian/American stereotype, smile and say hello. People expect you to be friendly, so you might as well play that up and make some friends! Worst comes to worst, people think you’re weird but at least they won’t think you’re rude.
Making friends is my biggest concern about moving to Nice–especially since I’m not fluent in the native language and I’m doing a homestay instead of living in dorms or staying in hostels–but I’m sure it will all come together in the end.
If you hear about the crazy, smiling Californian in Nice…that’s me. And if you have any friends of friends on the French Riviera, send them my way 🙂
.-= Christine´s last blog ..How traveling cured a picky eater =-.
A friend once gave me the advice that even if you are feeling shy/nercous just pretend you aren’t. I’ve practiced that “fake it til you make it” attitude in many situations and it has gotten me pretty far.
Besides hostels, I think you stand the most luck meeting new mates at wherever it is you end up working. Thinking back to my previous working holidays, the vast majority of friends were made at work. It’ where you spend the most of you time and logically where you’ll make new pals.
.-= Matt´s last blog ..Crossing the Cook Strait with Bluebridge =-.
Living with roommates is also a good way to make buddies.
The friends of friends tactic definitely works! I used it to my advantage when I moved to New York, and plan to use it again next year when I move to Sydney!
.-= Ashley´s last blog ..The summer of bocce =-.