I wasn’t planning to run any more guest posts for awhile but I really really liked the honest and clear way that Dave here writes about the pros and cons of traveling alone. As someone currently biking the circumference of the US solo, he would definitely know!
Travel is glamorous only in retrospect- Paul Theroux.
Taking 10 months off, if you have a secure job and are beginning to work up a career ladder is a big deal. It’s an intimidating thought. As we ‘grow up’ it becomes impractical to up-and-leave. Valid reasons like job security, relationships and making rent replace our once happy-to-rough-it-for-months mentality. That’s a good thing. Looking at friends lives that have slotted together in recent years, is a great thing. And that’s the main reason that this project is a solo endeavor. It’s never been intentionally based around being a solo trip, but that’s how things worked out
Short-term solo travel is different to long-term in terms of mentality and mood, attitude and psyche. At least in my experience, the start of a trip, in those first few weeks, is full of energy and excitement – every day is generally amazing, fun, brilliant – all those kind of words. It’s after you’ve settled into the trip, (for me a trip becomes long-term beyond about 6 weeks), that new thoughts begin to creep in to your mind. Sometimes, dark thoughts. But that’s one of the most appealing parts, too. The mental game. It’s fun to test yourself, and find out how far you can push ‘it’. Independent travel has a dark side. The main downsides are these:
“What are you up to?” “How long have you lived here?” “What’s fun to do in this town?” “Yeah, cycling around America.” “Mainly camping but sometimes cheap motels and staying with people too.” “It’s mostly fun when it’s not raining!”.
Generic questions and answers that become a script, a routine. In the last couple of months on the road, the same sentences have been said, over and over. 3 minute conversations become the norm, not intentionally, but because people are understandably busy with other tasks.
Loneliness. It’s sure to vary from person to person, and individuals have their own coping mechanisms. But one thing is for sure, it’s inevitable. At some point, even if only briefly, it will raise it’s ugly head. Not a long drawn out melancholy. But tough afternoons, sure.
Thankfully, there are a couple of effective ways to shoo away these demons, and kick the ass of both of the above subjects:
Being more proactive. Easy to suggest, harder to do (especially in a deserted rural town on a Sunday). Meet people, ask the questions, go to where it’s busy, try to beat fleeting conversation, dig deeper.
If you can’t find conversation, there’s always Skype to check in with your crew back home. The internet’s a wonderful thing.
There are others downsides, too. On this trip, the whole concept relies on travelling. Constantly moving to complete the route. It’s clear after a couple of months that it’s crucial to ‘stop and smell the roses’. By having constant momentum, you’ll never get under the surface of a place and you’ll make it easy for negativity to creep in.
Remember to experience. That’s what it’s about, otherwise you may just be sat on the sofa at home and watch a BBC Natural History programme. On that note, we might as well all go home and never think about travelling solo, right? No, no, no. There’s a light. Lights, even. Bright ones.
There are multiple positive reasons to travel solo. Here’s just three. The three C’s. Cool.
The first, much like superficial relationships, comes down to people. Every now and then, you meet someone and get through the initial layer of same-old-chat, to find yourself talking with an incredibly interesting and often amazingly generous individual. On this trip, I’ve met people who will be good friends for many years. And often they’re not the type people of that you’d usually be close to, which does wonders for proving any engrained preconceptions wrong. Inherently good people are everywhere.
There’s times, after riding for 10 hours plus on the bike, that you find yourself in deep thought. Unusually deep. This reflective time is significant and matters. Creativity flows naturally and ideas are generated with ease. Moments of clarity which will help influence your future. Side projects to work on whilst travelling will develop. This has to be a good thing.
Now this one isn’t strictly a positive. There are times when everything seems to go wrong. Perhaps you’ve angered the karmic gods, or maybe it’s just coincidence. But no matter, there will be days when you want to curse everything. Nothing goes to plan. Why has this even made the positive list? Well because, you deal with these problems. You crush them. And whilst it’s not fun in the moment, in retrospect it’s the challenging times that make the best memories and the best stories. Your independence, self-reliance, willpower and decision-making abilities will thank you.
Long-term solo travel isn’t for everyone, and I wouldn’t for a minute suggest that anyone travel alone exclusively. There’s something incredibly powerful about sharing experiences with those close to you and being able to reminisce in the future. But there is something special about solo travel that you can’t access elsewhere. If you can embrace the dark days, expect them, and know how to deal with them, there are shining positives and opportunities that are totally worthwhile.
Have you been on a long solo trip? Did you struggle? Provide your insights in the comments below.
Dave Gill is currently cycling an 11,000 mile loop around the circumference of North America, documenting the people, culture, places and the ride along the way. Follow the journey via the blog at www.vaguedirection.com, like the project on Facebook – www.facebook.com/vaguedirection or follow @dave_steepmedia.
24 thoughts on “The Dark and Light of Solo Traveling”
Excellent witing Dave really made me get into your zone, wow 😉
I went on a one year RTW trip 10 years ago on my own and found it fantastic. I met more people, felt more free, and discovered more than when I traveled as a couple. I don’t remember feeling lonely except once when I was sick.
What a fantastic and eloquent post about traveling solo. I think he’s hit the nail on the head for what it’s actually like! Thanks so much for sharing!
Kate xo petite-adventures.blogspot.ca
I have yet to gone on an independent, solo trip, being a college student at the moment. But I have read about many, including your amazing words here, about how it changes you and the ups and downs of solo travel. I hope to one day experience all this myself 🙂
Wow – what a post. Really brilliant and thought provoking.
I don’t know if this counts as a trip, but I moved to Japan on my own, and for a job where my co-workers were mostly Japanese (so, no set community already available). Living alone in Tokyo was definitely where I experienced some of the loneliest moments of my life, but it also forced me to become comfortable with the uncomfortable, and to be content with my own company. I supposed it’s a little different when you’re not on the road the whole time, though I can relate to all of the above, and most of the loneliest times were when I had been living there for a few months, but still felt like I didn’t have a very strong social circle.
This was an interesting read as i have been on solo trip for six months back in 2011. My fav was the last part challanges.
It’s true that people are happy with routine life and even long term travel can be a routine. Find a hostel, find the new attraction, visit them, make friends, laundry, food … everything become routine …. not exzactly the same but close enaugh.
Thats why sometime after a long travel i would crave something to go wrong … something to throw my plans upside down and i might end up somewhere else unexpected a unique experience … its always different if you plan it rough route or not … … and i do agree it makes the best stories !!
There are people who have little problem spending a lot of time with themselves (let’s call them introverts) and there are people who get bored and lonely on day one (let’s call them extroverts).
I’m currently traveling alone for 9 months and I’m doing fine. I especially enjoy the above mentioned clarity part. There’s lots of time for reading, thinking and reflection. Sure, I feel lonely sometimes, but only very rarely.
Sometimes I think it would be nice to travel with someone else. But at the same time I know I couldn’t do it for months. Maybe a few weeks tops.
But I’ve also met solo traveling extroverts on the way. They can do it to. They just figure out different strategies, like seeking out fellow travelers all the time. I guess if you’re really sociable you don’t need to spend a day alone even though you started out solo.
I think I would have suffered financially if I travelled without a friend. Having a friend really helped me when I am short of money. One day I’ll try to travel solo! 🙂 The L-word is definitely something I dread.
You’re describing exactly how I’ve always imagined solo travel to be. Amazing post.
I’m currently traveling around the world for an indefinite period of time, together with my girlfriend and we’ve often discussed splitting about for a month or two. We feel like maybe we’d experience personal growth, learn proactiveness and extend our comfort zone by a whole lot. We think it could be very good for our relationship and our journey.
Then again, she might just meet the cutest Thai boy and leave me stranded 🙂 (Honestly, she would never do that. She’d give me notice.)