Your Turn: Your Horrible Hostel Stories

Well, I asked for your funniest hostel stories and oh man you guys delivered.

I get into that though I wanted to share a hostel horror of my own that I encountered last week in Uruguay:

Yup that’s basically two seperate beds nailed together. Major engineering fail. Feel sorry for poor Mike who had to sleep on the bottom (of course I made him sleep on the bottom).

Now! Onto the stories!


A lot of your stories involved people getting it on in a shameless fashion:

Seeing this post on horror stories reminded me of one eventful night in Surfers Paradise, staying with friends in a 20 bed dorm where we checked in for a week. On our 2nd night a crowd came in very late, most being loud and drunk. As things quieten down I become aware of 2 people kissing in the bunk below mine, then a female voice says “not without a condom” I’m in absolute shock at this point, after spending 5 mins working out which way the condom unrolls, next we hear her say “OMG you’re huge”. I didn’t want to say anything, thought I’d give them 10, then another 10 and eventually someone threw a shoe at them, they soon got the message and stopped so we were able to sleep again.

– Sophie

Others involved strange and rude guests in other ways:

25 bed hostel dorm room in Prague. Our first night there, there is a very drunk Canadian man who used to be in the military. He is massive. He is drunk. He is angry. He has arm muscles the size of beer kegs. He spends a good portion of the night yelling incoherently in his sleep — except for the part where he keeps demanding that everyone else shut up (we are silent) or else he’ll kill us all while we’re sleeping. He conveniently makes that part very coherent. No one says anything to him because we are all thinking, “He was in the military and looks like a character from a video game, so he has probably legit murdered people and isn’t kidding right now.” But apparently he’s bad with the follow-through because he lets us all live. Terrifying.

– Jackie D

Some were just weird:

I got to Koh Phi Phi only a few days before New Years Eve and everything was booked. We found a room at this little bungalow hostel a few blocks from the beach and thought we were SO lucky. It was a proper shantytown – real crummy, mosquito nets, bathrooms not in our bungalow, obviously no AC etc. But what makes it hilarious ridiculous was our neighbors. They invited us to a shared dinner, we figured why not. Next thing you know – and I kid you not – a dude is using a slingshot to kill a pigeon for dinner. As a vegetarian, I had an easy out of that one. Later that night the guys poked each other w/ metal rods that had been heated on the BBQ to form tattoos. Unbelievable.

– Nicole

I don’t even know what is going on with this one:

I have loads of stories from dorms, but my favourite comes from the very first night in a dorm…

Having never stayed in a dorm before I eventually plucked up the courage and took my bottom bunk in a 8 bed dorm in La Paz. The dorm on reflection was huge and there was about 4ft between each, solid, bunk bed and I was sharing with only one other person. Perhaps surprisingly, I fell into a deep and complete slumber and woke the next morning – this is rare for me at the best of times.

The next morning I woke to find someone had placed M&M’s at 2″ intervals all around my bed. I sat up in bed looking at them somewhat speechless. I couldn’t work out how on earth they had go there and kept staring at them and at the other lad who was just getting up as well. He wandered over to see what was up and we shared the “WTF expression”.

I was convinced he’d done it, he was convinced I’d done it…

To this day, I have no idea how the M&M’s got there and the following night, everything I owned went into the lockers!

– Stefan

 

This one didn’t involve any other random people and it still made me giggle:

When I was in my late teens, a group of friends and I went on a tour around Europe.

One night in Florence, the girls and I were in our room getting ready and we started hearing banging on the wall. Thinking it was the boys, we started laughing and banging back. This went on for a while, eventually escalating to fits of laughter and name-calling, all the while hearing this banging on the wall (but no words). After 20 minutes of constant banging, we got fed up and went next door to tell the boys to knock it off…only to find they weren’t there.

Curious, we went down the hall to another room that held friends, and asked the boys what was going on. We went back to their room and found it empty, save for the bathroom door being closed. We grabbed the handle and opened it…and our friend RAN out! Turns out she had somehow locked herself in the bathroom and was trying to get our attention so we could get her out! The poor girl was in there beating her fists for almost half an hour.

– Jenny

And one final indignity:
How about discovering a new kind of hostel? A Brostel.. Haha. A brothel and a hostel conveniently in the same place. Enuff said. Lol.

– Carlos and Geneva

This all leaves me with the question, who ARE these people? I mean seriously, who does this stuff? Come on guys… fess up!
And be sure to check in and read all of the stories here.

16 thoughts on “Your Turn: Your Horrible Hostel Stories”

  1. This is a great compilation. I laughed at the M&M one…how creepy. Strange things happen in hostels, that’s for sure, but that’s how you get the best stories!

  2. Hey cool to see my post has resurfaced on this post lol!
    I hope this blog does not put people off backpacking, I had an amazing time travelling and had far many more good hostel experiences than the few bad.
    Seeing as Steph reopened the topic I can’t help but tell what happened one rainy day in Mission Beach while passing the time playing monopoly with 3 ladies on the floor in our large dorm a female walked in with a male and both went round to the far side out of our sight. Soon after we heard that noise metal bed springs make under repetitive motion, we played on another round laughing amongst ourselves until their sex got the better of Amanda who went over to confront them which was hilarious, by the time Amanda had finished giving them her tongue the rest of us packed up the board and left for the lounge.

  3. One of my strangest hostel memories was when I was in the Flying Pig Hostel in Amsterdam. Two Australian guys had tried some sort of psychedelics for the first time and were kind of tripping out. One was lying on the top bunk and one was lying on the bottom bunk and they could not “find” each other. It went like this (in their hilarious Aussie accents):

    “Kurt! Kurt! Where are you Kurt?”

    “I’m here, mate! I’m here!”

    “Where mate? Where are you?”

    “I’m here! Right here mate! Where are you?”

    “I’m here, Kurt! Where are you?”

    And this went on and on for ages. I couldn’t stop laughing.

    Check out our guide to surviving in a horrible hostel: http://global-goose.com/featured/survive-disgusting-hostel/

  4. I backpacked Oz between 2006-8 and can say I’ve seen just about everything, hard to select a worst one. Inconsiderate people really bug me, things like coming in drunk at 3am putting the lights on and spending half an hour getting into bed! Also we had a strange oldish guy in Glebe Sydney who muttered weird things through most the night. Maybe the worst night was waking up to the sound of an intoxicated vomiting Irishman who was being manhandled by an army of so-called friends taking photographs.

  5. I stayed in a hostel in Kensington in London. On my second night there, I was woken up by two Russians in my room, wearing business suits snorting lines of cocaine and drinking beers. They had opened the blinds and the sun was coming in the window.
    It was 6am and although I wanted to give them a piece of my mind but I was a bit concerned they might be crazed lunatics because they were doing drugs at that time.

  6. I stayed with these guys out in Brooklyn (http://hosteltales.com ) and they have some hilarious hostel stories. When I was there we had a guy jump a 10 foot gap between two buildings that fell 60 feet if he missed. the owner of the hostel threw a beer at him mid-jump!

  7. Oh my god, my worst hostel experience was in Barcelona. I booked one of the last hostels available that night and got a dim, sketchy room with a bunk bed and a mattress on the floor–no door at all, just openly connected to the hallway. After taking a cold shower I went out for the night and came back to sleep. My only roommate, an older guy, was snoring insanely loud on the top bunk and started moaning wildly in his sleep. It must’ve been a sex dream or something and I felt so brutally uncomfortable that I sat out in the lounge by myself until morning. Awwwful.

  8. OMG! YES! These stories are hilarious. But then again, it’s kind of the nature of traveling. Makes for a great story but at the same time it makes us grateful for how wonderful a comfy bed can be and let’s us test our personal limits. It’s a humbling experience.

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