The Introverts Guide to Travel

I’m really excited to write this one! It’s been brewing for a long time, as over the past couple of years I’ve really come to understand what it means to be an introverted traveler.

A little known fact about me is that I am actually really introverted. People don’t believe me when I tell them this: I’m so friendly and open- sometimes even ballsy (particularly when I’ve had a few drinks in me…). It’s true though: I can fake it for awhile, but like all introverts I find personal interactions to be really draining, and I need time by myself to recharge my social battery. It’s not that I’m shy, I just really, really like being alone.

This affects how I travel of course, but it never holds me back. So if I, a true introvert at heart, who likes nothing better than curling up with a book and a beer all by lonesome, can travel the world- so can you. Here’s my advice:

Understand Your Needs

Chilling on my own

It took me a long time to figure out what it actually mean to be an introvert. For ages I would go to parties and wonder why, after a few hours, I felt cranky and tired. I would feel guilty and anti-social and just miserable. I love my friends, so why did I want to go home so badly?

Fortunately my wise father is a licensed Myers-Briggs tester (I’m an INFP), and he taught me a lot about being an introvert. It doesn’t mean that you’re shy, or anti-social. It just means that you react differently to external stimuli than extraverts. Introverts get their energy from being alone, not from other people.

For me, being an introvert means that I can go out to a loud party one night and have a good time, but the next day I probably am not going to want to see anyone. It means that I need time outs at social gatherings to catch my breath and rally. It means that huge crowds and cramped spaces are always going to make me nervous, although I try to find ways of coping. It means I’m happiest in my own head.

Reading up on introversion can help you better understand your needs, which can lead to a lot less frustration and confusion, particularly when you are traveling with a partner, which leads me to my next comment…

Choose your Companion Carefully

Back when I was a single lady I traveled solo or with my buddy Liz. She is an introvert too, which worked perfectly. We had a lot of fun together but we were also great at working in solo time. She’d read a book while I went for a walk, or we’d sit in companionable silence, each watching our own movie on our own laptop. That may sound weird, but it wasn’t. We are just good at being alone together.

Then I started traveling with Mike, who is the definition of an extravert. He loves people, loud parties, chatting with strangers, the works. People energize him, and if he goes too long without socialization he gets antsy. While I’m usually the first to head home from the party, he’d rather be the last to leave.

So that’s… different. It’s frustrating sometimes, for both of us. I’m quiet, I can go for hours without talking and feel perfectly at ease, where he wants to share all of his experiences. I’m happy curled up in our hotel room, resting up for the next day, while it kills him to think that he’s missing out on some fun somewhere. There’s a lot of compromise as we both work to understand and meet the other’s needs.

Am I saying don’t travel with an extravert? No, I love mine and we have tons of fun together. He challenges me to get out there in ways I probably wouldn’t on my own. We meet different people and have interesting adventures. And I… well I probably keep him from getting too out of hand. Plus, he reads more now?

Whoever you travel with make, sure you can negotiate your needs and carve out enough personal space that you don’t lose your mind.

Don’t Be Afraid to Go Alone

It sounds counter-intuitive, but I think introverts are even more well-suited for solo travel than extraverts. We’ve got the inner resources to be alone and entertain ourselves for long periods.

When I travel alone I’ll sometimes go all day without making a connection. I revel in eating alone and wandering the streets of a new city with just my camera as a friend. I eat a lot of ice cream. I think a lot. Sometimes I go to bed early and don’t even feel guilty, just because I can. I do whatever it is I want to do and I don’t worry about other people. If I want a friend, I’ll make one, but I can just as easily slip away when I’m ready to hang out by myself again.

Fake it Til you Make it

Backpacker buddies in Montenegro

When I was 15, and struggling to make friends at my new high school, a wise childhood buddy told me this, and it changed my life. Whenever I’m feeling social anxiety I just pretend I’m not. I just fake it. As a result I’ve become an introvert whose pretty damn good at disguising myself as an extravert.

I can talk to strangers on the train, make new friends in a hostel and even network at events. I’m not so great at things that require confrontation: ie haggling, but I’m working on it. Being an introvert doesn’t have to mean being shy, or even quiet, and I try really hard to push myself.

Then again, sometimes my social anxiety gets the better of me and I get nervous about the silliest things- asking directions for example. Travel is probably good for me in this regard- it forces me out of my comfort zone and makes me do these silly little things for myself.

Are you an introverted or an extraverted traveler? How has it affected your adventures?

Next Time: Advice from other bloggers.

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Jess Carey
Jess Carey

Big thank you to Toni who linked to this post… finally, something I can totally and completely relate to!!! Yay!! I’m another introvert who can put on a good mask for a while in front of other people, who are always surprised to learn that I am a classic introvert. And I love to travel! I love reading your perspective on it all and how much I can relate to it…. I wish there was more out there like this for us introverts so we know that we’re not weird little anomalies, and we’re actually totally normal, just different! I… Read more »

Kasee
Kasee

Hi, I am an introvert who is in the planning stages of a 3 month trip to Europe. It seems a bit scary to go off on my own, but seeing your pictures and understanding the bond between camera and human, I don’t feel as scared. Are there any tips you could share? Is a Eurail pass worth it? Should I book hostels months in advance? Are there any places that I shouldn’t miss?

Stephanie
Stephanie

I really thought I commented on this when I came across it the last time but I guess not. I could not agree more with the things you pointed out. Just a few weeks ago I was trying to explain to my mom how I’m an introvert, “no you’re not, you’re not shy” so many people don’t understand that it’s more than or not just being ‘shy’. For me the biggest thing is that I need some ALONE time, especially after days filled with group outings and meeting new people. Lucky for you that you’ve found a great travel partner,… Read more »

1 5 6 7

Subscribe for updates

We show you why, where, and how to get out and see the world.

Please enter a valid email address.
Something went wrong. Please check your entries and try again.

SUBSCRIBE

We show you why, where, and how to get out and see the world.

Scroll to Top